Discordianism
Discordianism is dedicated to Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Strife, and Confusion, known to the Romans as Discordia. It’s central text is the Principia Discordia and it’s central symbol is the Sacred Chao, as revealed to Malaclypse The Younger (FKA Greg Hill, pbuh) and Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst (FKA Kerry Thornley, pbuh) by a talking Chimpanzee at a Brunswick Bowling Alley in the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier. Later, Robert Anton Wilson (pbuh) proselytize Discordianism amongst the “Normies” and “Spags” and “Rutabegas” and “Cabbages” of the uncontacted Discordian Tribes.
The Principia Discordia & Highlights:
- (Transcribed to 1’s and 0’s by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian Society Cabal of the Unemployed)
- (Written Reverend I. C. Puckett, Durham Discordian Glee Club, Prince of the Southern Provinces; repaired by me)
- POEE
- songs
- LoompManiac’s Edition Principia Discordia
- CMU’s ~tilt HTML PD
The Law of Fives
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.
The Law of Fives is never wrong. (ex: 2+3=5, 46 is 2 different numbers 1 away from 5 (the hidden 5 in the middle), etc)
In the Erisian Archives is an old memo from Omar to Mal-2: “I find the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I look.”#
The Pentabarf
The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.
KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.
IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.
- Note: Rev Rhizic says that the Discordian must eat the forbidden bun on a Friday, otherwise the Dogmas of Discordianism won’t be properly Remonstrated.
FNORD
- This section intentionally left blank, because they were already scared off by the Fnord (invisibly placed inside of the FNORD heading, above)
Eris Speaks!
(From the Brunswick Shrine Revelation) This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice: - I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding. You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun. I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free. (“No wonder things are all screwed up,” Mal2 & Omar concluded, “they have got it all backwards.”) - It is called the Sacred Chao. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as Discord, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: ‘TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland.